written by Pixie Pele
“She was giving me such mixed signals, how was I supposed to know what she wanted?” I hear this all the fucking time. Guys, take it from a lady(ish). I’m about to drop some serious knowledge on you.
If a girl is being confusing – let’s say… her words say she doesn’t want dick, but her body language seems to say she does want dick – there are only four options of what’s going on. Only four.
- She does want it, but not right now. In this case, don’t give her dick. Maybe she has a yeast infection and doesn’t want to fuck up the first time with that fishy smell. Maybe she believes sex should happen at X point in a relationship. Maybe she knows she’s too drunk to give consent. Give her space and let her figure her shit out and she’ll be back when she’s ready and will be thankful you gave her time.
- She’s not actually sure whether she wants it. In this case, don’t give her dick. Maybe she’ll decide she does want it and it’ll be awesome. Maybe she’ll decide she doesn’t and you’ll be glad you didn’t make an ass out of yourself. Either way, putting pressure on her is not going to make her feel comfortable or able to make a good decision.
- She doesn’t want your dick, but doesn’t want to offend you. In this case, don’t give her dick. Guys. You have no idea how much pressure women feel to be polite. Like, you’d think politeness were the ticket into heaven for all it’s forced down our throats. Take it as a compliment – she may not be interested in your dick, but she thinks you’re a decent enough human to go to the effort of cushioning your self-esteem.
- She’s playing hard to get. I think this is the one guys worry about. “What if she said no, but she actually meant yes?” To this I say… so what? Guys, do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t say what she means? Who is dishonest? Who uses deceptive manipulation to goad you into doing what she wants? Fuck. That. Shit.
Have some self-respect. Insist that the women you sleep with a) really want to be there, and b) are mature enough to own up to their desires. Maybe you won’t have as many sex nights, but the ones you have will be so much better.
Happy sexing!
