BDSM Pet Play is a beautiful expression of self in BDSM through a domestic and animalistic personality. This type of role play is appealing for many people as a way to let go within a framework, and to feel safe abandoning a “traditional” stigma around playful and sexual exploration. Pet play often involves a Dominant and submissive dynamic, with a Dominant as an Owner or Handler, and a submissive as a pet of any of a variety of options. If the dynamic with (or between) animals is more feral, it is sometimes in the category of as primal play, rather than petplay; although as with anything, lines are blurred to suit the individual.
I am a kitten! Together with anime and other pop culture references, being a kitten is a popular choice. Puppies and ponies are also very popular, but a submissive might feel more connected to the personalities of foxes, birds, bunnies, cows, pigs, or mythical unicorns. I’ve even met a “plant” in the Ann Arbor BDSM before! Humans can be pets, too, sometimes with more 24/7 ownership interactions, and other times just with a tender stroking of the head. I have also kept my cat personality while dominating a timid bunny. Fun!
Costumes For Pet Play
In order to “transform” into the animal, a change of clothing can help the shift of mindset. Lingerie is fun to play in, though with BDSM pet play you can branch out to more specific accessories. Large paws or paw-like gloves or socks for pet play are available, as are elaborate harnesses, hooves, and equipment for ponies (here is a blog on the love of socks by Karida). Animal ears are fun to wear, and tails can bring the whole look together. Tails may have a belt loop attachment or a pin. Belt loops are very comfortable and sturdy. Pins can for more individual placement. Butt plugs with tails allow for more nudity, if clothes feel too “foreign”! There are many amazing options!
Because role play involves a lot of imagination, it can include no accessories, or it can range into bondage. Some pets use arm or leg binders, so that “walking on all fours” actually involves the elbows rather than just the hands. Always be aware of the surface you’re playing on; many people use knee pads if they need to when doing this.
More Popular Pet Play Costume Parts
BDSM collars are popular, and this includes for pet play roleplay. When choosing a collar, remember to consider the qualities of the collar just like with any BDSM play. Does it need to withstand rough play or leash tugging? Perhaps it’s just decorative, lacy, and very pretty with a personalized tag. Many small stores online offer tough collars that have beautiful colors and bells.
Also, different pets love different accessories. Puppies love chasing after balls and playing tug-of-war with bones. A partner of mine who owns two horses bought an additional riding crop just for me, and a boyfriend enjoyed time hand making me my own me-sized yarn ball that ~rattles! I’m working on getting a feather wand for myself, too – I had one that broke because I tried to catch it too hard.
Feeding Your BDSM Pet
Incorporating food can be fun to emphasize the animal dynamic, or include humiliation. My Owner just got me my first food and water bowls by his work desk at home, and I love being able to roam around on my own and have a snack. Unfortunately, pet food is not meant for human digestion, but this means that food can be a place for creativity, too. Goldfish crackers are standard treats for me, and sushi is quite special. You can have chex mix of different flavors, shaped gummies, carrots, nuts and anything else. These work well not only for bowls, but also training incentives. Just be careful not to spoil your pet to the point of sickness!
Kink Negotiation Tips
Remember to start with common ground and expectations. Is the dominant interested in training and tricks? Does the submissive only get into the correct headspace if they communicate without words? Always have a safeword and check-ins set up in any case. “Kitty” should still be able to communicate that spankings are too hard. Look up tips on safewords within a scene if you need to – using stoplight colors can successfully indicate the need to slow down without stopping completely. Try not to schedule everything to death, though, and leave room for improvised play. Make a sound and see how your partner reacts instinctively. Grab something in the room.
More Notes On Pet Play Negotiation
What other “rules” are appealing, and what might become a trigger? Are pets allowed on the furniture? Do they have their own pet beds? I love rules to work with and around, but I would also feel abandoned if a partner pushed me off their bed. Other pets may feel more loved using their very own separate pet bed or nest.
Keep in mind that some pets may want to express their naughty side and break the rules, even after you’ve agreed on them. Make sure you also have plans for acceptable “funishment.” Perhaps you could buy a kennel or cage for a time out. Of course, the expectations of any power dynamic and training should have enthusiastic consent at all times.
Learning More About Pet Play
Owners may want to show off their pets. A puppy can “shake hands,” “roll over,” and “speak” in front of others, if you travel to a local party like the Ann Arbor kink events at Opening Gateways. Maybe a pet only cares about being spoiled with attention and affection. Doms may want to train pets in service activities, like having a “neko maid.” Rituals are a great place to go as well – pets thrive on routine. A certain time of the day can be set aside for snuggles and movies or training and treats. Sometimes the headspace with this kind of caretaker can be similar to a Daddy/Mommy and a little.
Final Notes
Remember, just as with any other kink, petplay can be sexual or nonsexual. An Owner can insist on barking during orgasm, or Owner and pet can have a safe space only for care and love. However your pet play kink scene ends up, always schedule aftercare. Soft things and stuffed animals are excellent, though make sure to communicate with each other. That is the best way to help create a pet play kink scene or relationship that works..
Petplay can incorporate as much or as little other kink as is agreeable or hot for everyone. Power dynamics, exhibitionism, role play, fetish wear, humiliation – these all just touch the surface in what petplay can offer. Have safe, sane, and consensual fun, see you soon!
-kez
Footnote from Parker: Opening Gateways has Pet Play events, so check out the Ann Arbor BDSM event schedule to find them. Also, numerous groups offer pet play classes. Look for more educational blogs here on the subject, like this Interview of Clovebud Art Studio about kink pet play and custom pet ears! We hope to see you at a Detroit BDSM event, Ann Arbor pet play event, or online for some fun twitter or Facebook Group conversation soon!
